During the performance of the play "You The Man", underlying dynamics that lead to domestic violence presented different possible situations that could affect individuals involved in a certain type of conflict. The type of conflict that emerged throughout the play was the topic of rape and the relationship between a man and a women. Each individual that was somewhat involved that was being played were either friends of the boyfriend or girlfriend, advice giver, father and a cop. Each character was played out showing the type of role that could possibly be followed by their position. The friend was characterized as the bystander, or the family member that just does not know what is going on, to an advice giver structuring the situation of the boyfriend. Some of the dynamics that allowed domestic violence to occur in the relationship between the boyfriend and the girlfriend were mainly because of the lack of help from outside family and friend help.
The dynamics that allowed the relationship to become abusive I think depended on where the power in each person was located. In these domestic violent relationship, we see a lot of inequality in the relationship furthermore disrupting the balance of power between the two people. In this case, the boyfriend had more power and the girlfriend abides by anything that he said. I think once he realized he had complete control over her, he wanted more out of what was already a given in the relationship.
Another aspect of the play I appreciated was showing the oppositions of the friends because in some way we could somewhat relate. Showing how the friend tried to make an attempt on steeping in, but not knowing when the best time would be demonstrated how delicate but the seriousness of this type of situation. Also, how much you try, the uncomfortable feeling between the two would be there in confronted and that's why a lot choose to be the bystander.
After the play, having a discussion about all types of relationships were valuable to me because it opened my mind to things much more then just a known conflict in relationships, but the conflict and struggle other people endure who witness it going on. The tendency to find affirmation from each person who we know and care about, is a complex and difficult situation because each individual may pull you in a different direction. And all these directions building the type of people around you seeking your interests and concerns.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Hw - 58 Parenting 102
Part 3:
In our class, we were let in on primary experiences on what parenting is like. Our guest that came in to talk about her perspectives of parenting presented new and different perspectives of how she is raising her children. Melissa (our guest) talked about how their should be a reasonable control over your kids life so they could figure out the differences between the right's and wrong's of their own decisions.
I also asked my mom on what she felt about parenting. For example, did you see parenting as something that came naturally, or multiple perspectives that help raise her children. She began with how it felt naturally because her mother was not there most of the time, but made sure that her kids stayed healthy. She said the first thing that came naturally to her was her maternal instinct. The need to protect and ensure of safety of us, but it would be ignorant not to say that not knowing and acknowledging other people's perspectives on parenting would just make you a poor parent. Knowing and feeling about how you see how others choose to parent would be more wise because you would get the opportunity to pick and choose the methods you don't or do like. My mom also talked about how she does past judgement on her sisters methods of parenting, but only because she does not agree with how it being parented.
Part 4:
Throughout this unit I felt like I've been absorbing a lot of insights on how to be a parent, or how to be parented. Gathering insights from those who have experienced or experiencing being a parent has opened my mind to how differently each child is raised at home, and even though it may be different from how I was raised, I have come to realize that even if it is different, it is still not wrong, something our culture is strung up on. Our culture tends to past judgement on a lot of styles and methods of parenting because it is either different from their type of style(s) so they categorize it as wrong. Now it is not bad to past some judgement on some types of parenting because the result of the child may be negative. I've also come to realize that parenting may be the hardest job ever. A Parent must be consistent with their child and when the parent falls short of being with your child, the sense of security and safety is lost with the child's dependency. Being ill unprepared to hold such type of job sets difficulties for the parent and for the child because the child does not have anyone to depend, and for a child to be independent at such a young age is something they cannot handle by themselves.
In our class, we were let in on primary experiences on what parenting is like. Our guest that came in to talk about her perspectives of parenting presented new and different perspectives of how she is raising her children. Melissa (our guest) talked about how their should be a reasonable control over your kids life so they could figure out the differences between the right's and wrong's of their own decisions.
I also asked my mom on what she felt about parenting. For example, did you see parenting as something that came naturally, or multiple perspectives that help raise her children. She began with how it felt naturally because her mother was not there most of the time, but made sure that her kids stayed healthy. She said the first thing that came naturally to her was her maternal instinct. The need to protect and ensure of safety of us, but it would be ignorant not to say that not knowing and acknowledging other people's perspectives on parenting would just make you a poor parent. Knowing and feeling about how you see how others choose to parent would be more wise because you would get the opportunity to pick and choose the methods you don't or do like. My mom also talked about how she does past judgement on her sisters methods of parenting, but only because she does not agree with how it being parented.
Part 4:
Throughout this unit I felt like I've been absorbing a lot of insights on how to be a parent, or how to be parented. Gathering insights from those who have experienced or experiencing being a parent has opened my mind to how differently each child is raised at home, and even though it may be different from how I was raised, I have come to realize that even if it is different, it is still not wrong, something our culture is strung up on. Our culture tends to past judgement on a lot of styles and methods of parenting because it is either different from their type of style(s) so they categorize it as wrong. Now it is not bad to past some judgement on some types of parenting because the result of the child may be negative. I've also come to realize that parenting may be the hardest job ever. A Parent must be consistent with their child and when the parent falls short of being with your child, the sense of security and safety is lost with the child's dependency. Being ill unprepared to hold such type of job sets difficulties for the parent and for the child because the child does not have anyone to depend, and for a child to be independent at such a young age is something they cannot handle by themselves.
I've also acknowledged the fact that other parenting perspectives can help guide you to become a better parent because what would be the point of going into parenting blind, making mistakes that other perspectives are there to warn you about. This is the point where I believe when or if I do become a parent that I will emulate a lot of the parenting methods used on me to carry out on the child I will have in the future. Even the things that I do not like like about how my parents have raised me with, I'll probably do it to my own kids subconsciously because it was something I was use to as a kid.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Hw - 57 Parenting 101
So what makes a good parent? A huge criteria that is ever so judged with everyones own opinion of what "good" exactly is. The similarities that you find in parenting can all relate but how these methods are carried out could be completely different. For example, punishing your child. Parents do it all the time, but there are variety of ways parents punish their own child. So who is it that makes up the rule that they have the best child punishment method? They all do, but how we interpret another method we may see it as wrong. That goes for a lot of things because what we may do personally, and someone does the same exact thing, but differently, we see it as wrong.
Parenting is a tough job, from my own experience, I think I give my parents a hard time, because of the 24/7 nurturing they have to attend to. For my parents I think learning from multiple perspectives have helped them create methods of their own acknowledging the pros and cons of other methods other parents have used. It is sort of like how we dress ourselves. You have friends that dress a certain way, and then the public, so you pick apart what you like from each group and you make it your own combining the styles. I mean why not accept the multiple perspectives, there only there to either be declined or a venue that you a choose and pick things out of. But does this make for good parenting then? How do you know if the type of perspectives you've chosen were "good" ones then? This goes into the complexity of how each individual is different from another. This is why the criteria for being a "good parent" is so opinion based because each individual sees something different, and as we may see something foreign/different, we match it with it being wrong.
Personally, I believe my parents have done a great job at raising me. How would I see it any way different? I would actually past judge on how I would see it different, and by judging it, I would associate it with it being wrong. The only fault I see in how I was parented that probably when I get old enough to have my own kids, that a lot of my teaching will resemble my parents methods because that was how I saw it 24/7. Even if I consciously believed that I would not raise my kid the same way my parents did me, How else would I raise my child then? Naturally? What is naturally? My own criteria of the rights and wrongs in life? Sure, but then wouldn't that be much of my parents criteria of how they taught me their rights and wrongs? I'm not saying that when we get older of course that we are going to be exactly like our parents, we have our judgement now, but it is the fact that a lot of the things we'll do, may resemble what our parents did for us. So, What makes good parenting then?
When Parenting Theories Backfire
In this article, it demonstrated how the theory of giving your child choice deciding opportunities could backfire on you. I'm not a parent, but it seems from this perspective of this parent that letting your child makes his/her own decision could result in the denial of your owns parents wishes. By letting the child make decisions between one or the another, the child realized that he/she now had the power to start making his/her owns demand.
Diana Baumrind's (1966) Prototypical Descriptions of 3 Parenting Styles
In this article it described the styles of permissive, authoritarian and authoritative parenting which any child could be a subject to. Each style resulted in pro and cons which from what I understand shows that their is not one good parenting method. One Style of that really stuck out to me was the authoritative style because of how I could see the child being structured properly in a dominant culture. If I were a parent now, I personally would like to see my child succeed in this dominant culture, so the other styles seemed wrong if I were to follow it. Seeing as there a 3 styles of structuring plans to build how a child's emotions and feelings are controlled, it makes me wonder how else I could raise my children and are there other categories for that.
Parenting is a tough job, from my own experience, I think I give my parents a hard time, because of the 24/7 nurturing they have to attend to. For my parents I think learning from multiple perspectives have helped them create methods of their own acknowledging the pros and cons of other methods other parents have used. It is sort of like how we dress ourselves. You have friends that dress a certain way, and then the public, so you pick apart what you like from each group and you make it your own combining the styles. I mean why not accept the multiple perspectives, there only there to either be declined or a venue that you a choose and pick things out of. But does this make for good parenting then? How do you know if the type of perspectives you've chosen were "good" ones then? This goes into the complexity of how each individual is different from another. This is why the criteria for being a "good parent" is so opinion based because each individual sees something different, and as we may see something foreign/different, we match it with it being wrong.
Personally, I believe my parents have done a great job at raising me. How would I see it any way different? I would actually past judge on how I would see it different, and by judging it, I would associate it with it being wrong. The only fault I see in how I was parented that probably when I get old enough to have my own kids, that a lot of my teaching will resemble my parents methods because that was how I saw it 24/7. Even if I consciously believed that I would not raise my kid the same way my parents did me, How else would I raise my child then? Naturally? What is naturally? My own criteria of the rights and wrongs in life? Sure, but then wouldn't that be much of my parents criteria of how they taught me their rights and wrongs? I'm not saying that when we get older of course that we are going to be exactly like our parents, we have our judgement now, but it is the fact that a lot of the things we'll do, may resemble what our parents did for us. So, What makes good parenting then?
When Parenting Theories Backfire
In this article, it demonstrated how the theory of giving your child choice deciding opportunities could backfire on you. I'm not a parent, but it seems from this perspective of this parent that letting your child makes his/her own decision could result in the denial of your owns parents wishes. By letting the child make decisions between one or the another, the child realized that he/she now had the power to start making his/her owns demand.
Diana Baumrind's (1966) Prototypical Descriptions of 3 Parenting Styles
In this article it described the styles of permissive, authoritarian and authoritative parenting which any child could be a subject to. Each style resulted in pro and cons which from what I understand shows that their is not one good parenting method. One Style of that really stuck out to me was the authoritative style because of how I could see the child being structured properly in a dominant culture. If I were a parent now, I personally would like to see my child succeed in this dominant culture, so the other styles seemed wrong if I were to follow it. Seeing as there a 3 styles of structuring plans to build how a child's emotions and feelings are controlled, it makes me wonder how else I could raise my children and are there other categories for that.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Hw - 56
1.How many personal interactions a day have been positive? How many have been negative?
2.Are social interactions important to your life? Why?
3.What type of interactions do you find yourself in? Scripted(Hello, How was your day? etc.) Personal
Marshall:
Me
Social Interactions important to your life? Why?
Marshall
obviously they matter to me because i've already asked if my answers will be direct or not and all that
Me
Why is that frequent interactions matter?
Marshall
because weather we like it or not people forget about us. i bet the best Friends who you thought you'd hangout with forever from grade school, you forget about them and them about you, or at least you don't hangout anymore but if you had frequent interactions you probably could.
Me
oh, so your saying that knowing how to interact with people, would matter because people eventually forget about you, so you have to gain new friends and socialize with new people?
Marshall
yeah that too. also "frequent" implying that you see that same people frequently too, so they'll think to hangout with you more
Me
so how many of these interactions today do you think have been positive, or negative?
Marshall
a day?
Me
today, and or in general
Marshall
umm in general; 7 good, 2 bad ??
Me
okay. Do these interactions make you feel anyway?
Marshall:
Ummm…
Me
how do these conversation/frequent interactions make you feel?
Marshall
they make me feel like they are necessary and we need more
Me
Why?
Marshall
Because without them you end up a loner.
Greta:
Me
Are social interactions important to your life?
Greta
yes they are, but i can also be just as content being by myself
Me
which do you prefer to do then and why?
Greta
mm i think being by myself actually no
wait yeah
by myself haha
Me
haha, so why is that you feel more comfortable by yourself?
Greta
i think I've always been really depended on so its led me to become more independent; but i wish i could be more dependent
Me
interesting. people seem to always say they want to be more independent, what would be words of wisdom towards those other people?
Greta
haha mmm i think by literally doing things by yourself, like taking a walk or doing something alone that you would usually do with other people, you start to become much more in touch with yourself
Me
haha i see. umm How many personal interactions a day have been positive? how many have been negative?
Greta
like usually or just today?
Me
today, and or general
Greta
mm probably like 10 positive and 2 negative
Nikki:
I:Are Social Interactions important to your life?
A:Of course.
I:Why is it important to you then?
A:Why wouldn't it be important. It's what creates relationships between people.
I:What exactly does it create in relationships?
A:It's how you get friends and whatever else, and it makes life that much more interesting.
I:How many personal interactions a day have been positive? How many have been negative?
A:I would say about 19 in total have been positive today.
I:Do you think your engaged in a lot of personal interactions that you find significant?
A: I'd say I am.
I:What type of interactions are they then?
A:Scripted and deep/private.
I:Do these interactions make you feel any certain way?
A:Not necessarily.
I:So being engaged in these conversations and interactions are pointless then, they have no significance towards you?
A:No, they do have significance.
I:So isn't this pretty much contradicting what you said before, that interactions create things, but you find it not necessarily making you feel a certain way?
A:No, I don't think they are insignificant, I think they are important. I'm just not entirely sure how significant they are to me.
Reading through these responses of how frequent interactions impact our ability to engage in defined relationships, a lot of it we see as how the other person in the conversation affects us. Finding the significance in what we do depends on how dependable or independent that individual is. From what I heard in these interviews, having frequent interactions is necessary because where would we be if no one liked to socialize?
What is Significant in the relationships you have with other people?
2.Are social interactions important to your life? Why?
3.What type of interactions do you find yourself in? Scripted(Hello, How was your day? etc.) Personal
Marshall:
Me
Social Interactions important to your life? Why?
Marshall
obviously they matter to me because i've already asked if my answers will be direct or not and all that
Me
Why is that frequent interactions matter?
Marshall
because weather we like it or not people forget about us. i bet the best Friends who you thought you'd hangout with forever from grade school, you forget about them and them about you, or at least you don't hangout anymore but if you had frequent interactions you probably could.
Me
oh, so your saying that knowing how to interact with people, would matter because people eventually forget about you, so you have to gain new friends and socialize with new people?
Marshall
yeah that too. also "frequent" implying that you see that same people frequently too, so they'll think to hangout with you more
Me
so how many of these interactions today do you think have been positive, or negative?
Marshall
a day?
Me
today, and or in general
Marshall
umm in general; 7 good, 2 bad ??
Me
okay. Do these interactions make you feel anyway?
Marshall:
Ummm…
Me
how do these conversation/frequent interactions make you feel?
Marshall
they make me feel like they are necessary and we need more
Me
Why?
Marshall
Because without them you end up a loner.
Greta:
Me
Are social interactions important to your life?
Greta
yes they are, but i can also be just as content being by myself
Me
which do you prefer to do then and why?
Greta
mm i think being by myself actually no
wait yeah
by myself haha
Me
haha, so why is that you feel more comfortable by yourself?
Greta
i think I've always been really depended on so its led me to become more independent; but i wish i could be more dependent
Me
interesting. people seem to always say they want to be more independent, what would be words of wisdom towards those other people?
Greta
haha mmm i think by literally doing things by yourself, like taking a walk or doing something alone that you would usually do with other people, you start to become much more in touch with yourself
Me
haha i see. umm How many personal interactions a day have been positive? how many have been negative?
Greta
like usually or just today?
Me
today, and or general
Greta
mm probably like 10 positive and 2 negative
Nikki:
I:Are Social Interactions important to your life?
A:Of course.
I:Why is it important to you then?
A:Why wouldn't it be important. It's what creates relationships between people.
I:What exactly does it create in relationships?
A:It's how you get friends and whatever else, and it makes life that much more interesting.
I:How many personal interactions a day have been positive? How many have been negative?
A:I would say about 19 in total have been positive today.
I:Do you think your engaged in a lot of personal interactions that you find significant?
A: I'd say I am.
I:What type of interactions are they then?
A:Scripted and deep/private.
I:Do these interactions make you feel any certain way?
A:Not necessarily.
I:So being engaged in these conversations and interactions are pointless then, they have no significance towards you?
A:No, they do have significance.
I:So isn't this pretty much contradicting what you said before, that interactions create things, but you find it not necessarily making you feel a certain way?
A:No, I don't think they are insignificant, I think they are important. I'm just not entirely sure how significant they are to me.
Reading through these responses of how frequent interactions impact our ability to engage in defined relationships, a lot of it we see as how the other person in the conversation affects us. Finding the significance in what we do depends on how dependable or independent that individual is. From what I heard in these interviews, having frequent interactions is necessary because where would we be if no one liked to socialize?
What is Significant in the relationships you have with other people?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Hw - 55
Part 1: What is the importance of frequent interactions with adults, teachers, friends and strangers? (Most likely will be changed)
Or! What kind of conflict(s) should be allowed in a mediated relationship?
Chloe,
I think if you really wanted to go deeply into making your question less vague and more meaningful and precise.
Since I believe your already in a relationship, what already is difficult about your relationship and what do you want to get out of it? I don't know, just a suggestion. It may be a bit personal, but you could work it out.
*Needs more people*
Or! What kind of conflict(s) should be allowed in a mediated relationship?
Chloe,
I think if you really wanted to go deeply into making your question less vague and more meaningful and precise.
Since I believe your already in a relationship, what already is difficult about your relationship and what do you want to get out of it? I don't know, just a suggestion. It may be a bit personal, but you could work it out.
*Needs more people*
Hw - 54
I took the Myers-Briggs test and I have to say, the results I think were pretty useful. I got the results of ESTP, someone who likes a lot of group oriented positions, basically very social. It offered what type of jobs I would feel comfortable in, and the types that did not fit my results. I also enjoyed taking this quiz, because personally I have problems trying to explain the "Who I am" to people and for a test to narrow down how moods, feelings and thoughts just made it easier.
Although the results I find useful, like narrowing down to how my feelings and thoughts compared to favored careers, I do not find accurate because it was just narrowing down how my personality and feelings were set, but not the type of motives I have to be in other careers. A personality could change, feelings could change, but it was useful to see that the way I am now, and the person I make myself out internally lead to these type of careers.
The Myers-Briggs test is fun to follow up on people you know, trying to study them internally and guessing there positions externally. One of my friends that I had guessed turned out to be almost exactly like how I thought he would be, when he took the test. This shows how easily we get to know and see people, and automatically we place them in a type of category. The social categories are made by assumptions about people who think fit this certain manner, and by reading their attitudes, thoughts, and feelings, we get to see how similar we are, or how different we could be.
Although the results I find useful, like narrowing down to how my feelings and thoughts compared to favored careers, I do not find accurate because it was just narrowing down how my personality and feelings were set, but not the type of motives I have to be in other careers. A personality could change, feelings could change, but it was useful to see that the way I am now, and the person I make myself out internally lead to these type of careers.
The Myers-Briggs test is fun to follow up on people you know, trying to study them internally and guessing there positions externally. One of my friends that I had guessed turned out to be almost exactly like how I thought he would be, when he took the test. This shows how easily we get to know and see people, and automatically we place them in a type of category. The social categories are made by assumptions about people who think fit this certain manner, and by reading their attitudes, thoughts, and feelings, we get to see how similar we are, or how different we could be.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Hw - 53 Survey Analysis
Part 2:
Taking this survey I realized that for myself, I answered either most of the questions neutrally or not completely yes, but still a "yes." This made me wonder why? Were any of the questions asked, I honestly did not feel comfortable about answering, or was it that this is just how it was suppose to play out? Some of the questions asked in the survey made stop think, or even second guess how I answer because I was not completely sure on how I "really" felt about it. Questions about like self politics I had to go back and re-read the question because most of them were questions that described you as an individual, and I always have difficulty explaining a "who am I?" based question.
Part 3:
After the results were posted, almost all but some, each was a interesting score, just because of either how similar I was to some students or how different I was from the next. For instance questions in the self politics genre, most of the students agreed on things I answered for but questions about family, the answers varied. This opened my mind that a lot of us are not the same, even though we may feel that we could possibly be the same. One of the questions that I remember, was that students at home become scapegoats, or know scapegoats are used at home. Which I am not aware of in my home. I think when things get more personal and closer to home, everyone is different, but on more general topics, we find a lot of similarities.
Part 4:
Comparing our results to the other surveys, just shows how very similar we could get, and then on a personal level of how different we could be. What surprised me was how similar and close the percentage was to how much us students consider attempting suicide, is this personal behavior, students share on a deep level. Is it something in school that provokes it? Similarities in living styles and areas that cause this thinking? etc.
Reading about the types of experiences that students go through that I may not associate myself with makes think that, am I wrong for not being as similar as them, or are they wrong for not being like me? Why is it such an issue when one person's personality that is different from us, we are quick to judge them as wrong? What is the cause that makes us easily judge a person for something that they do differently from me? I could keep going on questioning where all of it could derive from, but what would be the ready answer for it?
Taking this survey I realized that for myself, I answered either most of the questions neutrally or not completely yes, but still a "yes." This made me wonder why? Were any of the questions asked, I honestly did not feel comfortable about answering, or was it that this is just how it was suppose to play out? Some of the questions asked in the survey made stop think, or even second guess how I answer because I was not completely sure on how I "really" felt about it. Questions about like self politics I had to go back and re-read the question because most of them were questions that described you as an individual, and I always have difficulty explaining a "who am I?" based question.
Part 3:
After the results were posted, almost all but some, each was a interesting score, just because of either how similar I was to some students or how different I was from the next. For instance questions in the self politics genre, most of the students agreed on things I answered for but questions about family, the answers varied. This opened my mind that a lot of us are not the same, even though we may feel that we could possibly be the same. One of the questions that I remember, was that students at home become scapegoats, or know scapegoats are used at home. Which I am not aware of in my home. I think when things get more personal and closer to home, everyone is different, but on more general topics, we find a lot of similarities.
Part 4:
Comparing our results to the other surveys, just shows how very similar we could get, and then on a personal level of how different we could be. What surprised me was how similar and close the percentage was to how much us students consider attempting suicide, is this personal behavior, students share on a deep level. Is it something in school that provokes it? Similarities in living styles and areas that cause this thinking? etc.
Reading about the types of experiences that students go through that I may not associate myself with makes think that, am I wrong for not being as similar as them, or are they wrong for not being like me? Why is it such an issue when one person's personality that is different from us, we are quick to judge them as wrong? What is the cause that makes us easily judge a person for something that they do differently from me? I could keep going on questioning where all of it could derive from, but what would be the ready answer for it?
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